last modified - 23/Jan/2014

Amma, why did he hit me?

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"A boy hit me in the back. It was hard and I bent down and cried. But no one took any notice of it". This was what my little angel told her mother one day, after returning home from school. My granddaughter Shavini was a little girl of three years when she started her schooling at a leading international school in the outskirts of Colombo, the capital of Sri Lanka. She and her mother, who is my daughter, lived with us, about four kilo metres away from school, in a comparatively less developed village called Madiwela. There were two large areas of bare land one to one side of our house and the other in front. The bare land to the left of our house was lower in elevation than the rest of the area. As a result, the ground there was always a wet basin collecting rain water, flowing from the surrounding area. There were mud holes to which some buffaloes rared by a villager, came to have a dip and enjoy during the hot afternoons and to graze around lazily. Some cold mornings, it was quite a lovely sight from our balcony to see the little meadow with thousands of dew drops adorning the tips of the thin blades of grass. The dew drops were refracting the fresh beams of light from the rising sun making it comparable to a modern computerised lighting system used on stages for musical shows. As if this is not enough, the creator of this scenery goes one step further and covers the meadow with a thick blanket of not so thick mist about two feet high making one believe that this is a picture with a covering layer of milky varnish or laqquer.

Our house was surrounded by greenery. There were lots of different birds, squirrels and even monitor lizards, around our house. Little Shavini by now has become a nature lover. Instead of playing with her sophisticated toys, she used to watch the birds and the squirrels playing in our garden. She loved to pick the tiny petals of the little "Gandhapana" flowers, keep them on her palm, close to her mouth and blow them away, with much joy and sense of achievement. She then watched how the tiny petals flew for about six inches or more and fell on the ground scattering around her. She never got tired of playing with these flowers. Neither did these flowers fail to appear more and more to replace the ones she has already picked. I used to wait and watch this activity patiently, many a time, as I felt that here is an angel so innocent like driven snow, playing with toys provided by mother nature. My long waits watching her play, sacrificing my scarce time, was worthwhile when I realised that I was letting her enjoy her childhood which no one can give her back when she gradually grows older. All these beautiful things drove me to compose a song, the lyrics of which is given below.

                        Beautiful Day
Cho:    I like the smell of flowers, early in the morning
            the birds begin to sing, dew drops on the flowers
                                                 dew drops on the flowers
 
1.         Flowers all in bloom 
            meadows look well groomed
            butterflies fluttering, birds are singing,
            Oh what a beautiful day
 
cho ....
 
2.         The dew drops will disappear
            When the sun through clouds appear
            Squirrels are roaming, birds are flying
            Oh what a beautiful,
           Oh what a wonderful, 
           Oh what a beautiful day.

From the first day I saw my granddaughter, that was the day she was born, I started calling her 'little angel'. Her mother, as well as my wife and I loved our 'little angel' a lot. When she was about four and a half months of age, our daughter took my angel away from us to join her husband who worked in Dubai, middle-east. From then onwards, my little angel used to travel many times to and from Sharjah, where they were living. Sometimes as many as five times an year.

One day when little Shavini came home after school, she had a sad look which at once was noticed by her mother. Usually, when she came home after school, it was about half an hour before noon. Like a ritual, she entered the house dancing. She could dance whether there was music or not. She could dance at any time, any place, even in front of strangers. She used to entertain complete strangers at shopping malls, airport, church, hospital and many other public places.

As soon as she enters the house, she starts relating all what happened in school in a gleeful way. She wouldn't miss any detail. From the main door of our house up to their room, she would relate and enact all the episodes of the day, making a great effort to preserve the original flavour of the dialogues and the actions. As she was not in her usual cheerful mood and didn't have the lunch properly, the mother guessed that there was something wrong with the little girl. So she asked Shavini what was wrong and this is what she said. "today, a boy hit me in the back. It was hard and I bent down and cried. But no one took any notice of it."

The mother felt very sad, as it was Shavini's very first experience in her life, of anyone hitting her. Tear drops rolled down the mother's cheeks, which made little Shavini's eyes release the load of tears held back upto now, like two narrow waterfalls after heavy rain. The mother asked "what about the teachers? Didn't they do anything about it"? The little girl answered "No! They just ignored it". "Amma, why did he hit me"? The mother didn't have an answer but she thought for a while and decided that she must answer her question as always.

Dodging to answer a little child's question is not the best thing to do to develop that child in to a good personality. Little children have a massive thirst for knowledge. They have an incredible capacity to absorb knowledge. When parents do not answer questions saying "you are too small to understand", "you will understand when you are big" or simply "I don't know", they unknowingly close the input channels of the little children to a certain extent.

When Shavini was born, we took a firm decision never to hit her or scold her for anything. Her mother was a grade one teacher, incidentally in the same school where little Shavini was attending. She resigned from the school to get married and join her husband who was working in the middle-east. She had studied child psychology when she followed a Montessori course before becoming a teacher. She loved little children so much, so that she still remembers some of her students by name, who are now in O/L and A/L classes. I can confirm that because I myself teach in the O/L grades in the same school. When talking about her School, I must mention something noteworthy. My wife was also working in the same School, as the Admission Secretary. For one year, my daughter, wife and I were working in the same School. The day my daughter left school, was the last day of the academic year. A concert was organised by the staff, for the staff, which included more than 300 teachers. The three of us sang a song called "Mall Bara Himidiriye". Daughter and I played guitar while Sandra forgot to play shakers ( ) as she had to hold the lyrics in front for us to sing. That was a memorable last day for our daughter because the item was well received by the audience.

When little Shavini wanted to know why that boy hit her, the mother decided to give a suitable answer. From the time this little girl was about three months or even before that, we started talking to her as if she was an adult. We always told her the truth. We used the normal language instead of 'baby language' to talk to her though it was a long way before the baby even made any recognisable sounds. We believed firmly that though the infant did not output any intelligible sounds, she was inputting all the data accessible to her and processed and stored the information like in a computer with a brand new memory chip and a brand new hard disk, so to say. If we have to leave her alone in the cradle for a short time, perhaps to drink some water, we talked to her and kept her informed of why we were leaving her and for how long our absence would be. Simply, she was absorbing all what the adults were uttering and trying to understand every bit, though she took almost an year before she uttered her first word. This was proven about six months from thence, when she shocked everyone when it was found that she could sing all the 20 odd songs which were on a CD which was played over and over again from the day she was born. The names of the songs are given at the end of this book. It all happened this way. One day when I sang "Twinkle twinkle little .." and stopped, she said "star!". Then I sang "How I wonder what you" and she said "are!". After a while, I sang "Twinkle.. " and stopped - lo and behold!, out came the rest of the song from the little girl. Later that same day, she surprised all by singing all the songs in the correct order. To put the record straight, many words were not correctly pronounced, but somewhat close to the original.

Whenever she asked a question, a suitable answer was given by us, thereby encouraging her to ask more questions. We never considered any question nor any answer as too big for her. Her mother started teaching her many things even before she started schooling. She new opposites like big-fat, day-night, East-West, etc.. When she was about 2½ years old, she described 'gravity' to my wife who was bathing her in her small blue coloured bath tub. "Nanna, do you know what gravity is"? "Now look" she said, holding her small toy ducky in her right hand right in front of Nanna's face. "Now I am going to release this ducky from my hand. Watch and tell me what happens" and she dropped it. Nanna said "well, it fell to the water". "Do you know why it fell down"? asked Shavini. Nanna said "no". "It's because of gravity. Now do you understand"?, came the answer from the little proffesori. My daughter did not answer her question yet as she had to think of a sensible answer. She has never told her baby a lie just to pacify her. As a result, the little one believed whatever we told her. When she had to be given vaccines and other injections, we did not tell her that 'it is not painful', instead we told her that it hurts a little like an ant-bite. She never cried for injections and told us afterwards that 'it didn't hurt at all'. Once because she had to go back to Sharjah, she had to be given two injections one after the other. She surprised both the doctor and the nurse by continuously smiling when the injections were administered.

Some parents lie to children as a temperary measure to overcome certain difficult situations. One such situation is when the mother wants to go somewhere and the child wants to go with her. In order to go On her first day of school, out of about 150 children, she was one of the very few children who did not cry. We prepared her during the last few days before sending her to school. We told her that she has to stay for some time without any of us; that there will be teachers to look after her. We also told her that when parents leave other children with the teachers and go away, the frightened children will start crying and that she does not have to cry as Amma will come to take her back home. She agreed and understood the situation. When I was free, I went and had a peek at her classroom without letting her see me. What did I see? She was seated at a desk having an opened drawing book with a half drawn picture, looking amused at all the other children crying. There were many other teachers drawn from other classes just to carry and pacify the children who were crying continuously. Probably they did not know that their parents were coming to take them home after a few hours. Or, is it that they did not believe their parents when they told them that they were coming to take them home? Many incidents like this proved to us that it always pays in the long run, to tell the truth to a little child.

So, what is the answer to this tiny kid's big question? Did she annoy him so much that the boy lost his temper? What could she have done to annoy him so much? "Did you do anything that he told you not to do?", the mother asked, though she knew the answer very well . This little angel rarely did anything to annoy anyone. She does not know to annoy a person because we have never done that to her. Teasing a little child is a crime.

I have seen children teased by parents, aunts, uncles, teachers and others. These adults do not understand that little innocent minds can be affected by teasing and annoying them. It is like taking a beautiful fresh flower and touching it with dirty and smelly hands, turning and twisting the petals and so on. That flower will not be fresh and nice looking anymore. Though little Shavini did not know to hit or annoy another, the boy in her class found it easy to hit her, who did not even annoy him. The little boy is innocent because he did not know to hit another, until he himself was evidently hit by his own parents. Is it necessary to hit a child to punish him or correct him? A child will always try to explore and do new things. That's the way a little mind is programmed by nature, the 'master programmer'

Do you have to teach a bird to fly or a fish to swim? No. But human babies have to be taught how to walk by using walkers or holding them upright and helping them to take steps and move forward. On the other hand, can you teach a birdie to build a nest which would be slightly different to its own parents' nest? I am sure you will agree that it is not possible as they are programmed to build the nest according to the best plan drawn by mother-nature, the best architect. Birds never say "I like to build a nest which would look nicer and bigger than the one my parents built. I would use a different material to construct my home. Among many other things, I want to make a door which could be opened and closed whenever I wanted. I need some privacy". On the other hand, humans would say exactly that. At some stage of the evolution, humans have ignored nature's program or instincts and started to act according to their own programs or thoughts. This difference has brought man a long way from the caves to the modern, sophisticated and beautiful houses.

The ability of the human to think, reason out and explore is shown even by an infant who will try to grab anything within reach and bring it to the mouth. As the infants grow, they like to learn and do new things as well as do new things and learn too. Some new things that they do are certainly not to their parents' liking or pose a threat or danger to themselves. When parents tell them not to do it without explaining why they should not do it, they are sure to become curious and determined to do it and see for themselves. When parents tell their kids not to do a certain thing without explaining, they feel that they are not treated as intelligent. So they get the urge to do it somehow and prove their abilities to the 'adults' around.

Little Shavini was always treated as an intelligent child and the Do's and Don'ts were told to her always with reasons behind them. So she never had to be corrected or 'punished'. When parents do not give a reason, the kids will always try to do the forbidden thing to see results for themselves. If you tell a little child not to touch an electric plug without giving a valid reason, that child will surely touch it when no one is around.

By the time Shavini was able to walk and move from place to place on her own, she knew that to go near an electric plug and to touch it was dangerous. She in fact reminded us about the danger when we handled electrical items. To her, anything attached to an electrical wire meant danger. It was easy to train her not only to identify danger but many other things, because she believed everything we said without hesitation - but not without asking questions. She was encouraged to ask questions till she understood anything she heard or saw the first time. All her questions were answered truthfully, in a way she could understand, considering her age and standard.

There were many possible answers to her question "Amma, why did he hit me?". The easiest was "I don't know". We tried our best to avoid that kind of answer whenever it was possible. If we really did not know the answer, we would say, "I don't know. But I will find the answer soon". Further, she was encouraged to remind us to find the answer, if we had not done so already. Full credit should go to the Internet which has made it possible to find answers to almost any question. When she was four and a half years old, she asked me the meaning of XP, in Windows XP. To be honest, I did not know the meaning. I promised to find the answer in the Internet later, as I was busy with some other work in the computer. When she reminded, I checked on the Internet and found that XP stands for eXPerience.

Other answers to her nagging question would have been "That's the way boys are. Just forget about it", or "Tell the teacher if that happens again", or "You may have done something to annoy him" and the list goes on. But none would have satisfied her. Then what is the answer to that question? Mother nature has programmed a pregnant mother bird to build a nest to lay her eggs, a lion to kill an animal when hungry, and only when hungry and not when angry. Humans, using their intelligence, have broken free of the natural instincts, and no longer follow mother nature's program instructions which has led mankind to disaster. One example is, missing almost all the warnings given by mother nature regarding natural disasters. In fact that sentence should be re-written as "we miss her public announcements regarding her activities such as rain, storms, volcanoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, etc. In the great tsunami of 2004, on 26th December, the five tribes of Andaman and Nicobar islands, nearest to the epicentre, the Jarawas, Onges, Shompens, Sentinelese and the Great Andamanese survived by reading signs given out by mother nature. They observed the cries of the birds, the frenzy of the smaller mammals, even the change in the swimming pattern of the marine animals gave them clues and signals of the approaching tsunami. See related article When humans are unable to read notices given by mother nature, of impending events, they are called calamities and become disasters.

If they are guided by natural instincts, humans need not kill animals when they are hungry. We live in a world where enough and more food is available in ready to eat form. The most we have to do when hungry is, cook rice, clean some vegetables and cook. Sometimes even pre-cooked food items are available freely, which you can just warm and eat. Then how come that humans learn to hit and attack fellow humans and other animals? They are definitely not programmed by mother nature to hit or attack as it is not necessary to kill another to survive, unlike other forms of animals. If it is not the natural instinct to hit another for whatever reason, then it has to be a quality acquired by humans after birth. Little Shavini's mother yet could not possibly give a reasonable answer to her question "Amma, why did he hit me?".

When a baby is born, her brand new brain has very little information to act on. Typically, a new born baby can cry, blink, breathe, suckle, move limbs, sleep, urinate and pass motions, etc.. These are activities programmed by Nature. Barring a few more activities which are instinct based, all other activities are learnt by children at first from their parents or guardians, then from kindergarten teachers and then school teachers, other adults, books, movies, etc. Little Shavini has a very happy childhood, with no one to shout or scold, no one to punish or hit her. She has not hit any living being, human or animal. Nature has not programmed her to find her own food.

With progress, man has moved a significant distance away from Mother Nature. After breast-feeding a baby for six months or so, parents have to prepare and feed solids to the baby according to doctor's advice. Even an orphan will be looked after by a guardian or an institute. Therefore a child does not need to hit or kill for food. It is clear that a child learns to hit, first from the parents and then from the teachers. But, can Shavini be told that "the boy has learnt to hit from his parents"? Her question was "Why did he hit me?" and not "how did he learn to hit?". If parents are the first teachers, they have a huge responsibility to lay the best possible foundation on which the child's life will be built. If the foundation of a building is laid properly, the rest of it is easy to build. If the foundation is weak, however strong you build the rest of the building, it is sure to collapse one day.

The children born today will become the world tomorrow. Can you and I change tomorrow's world? If parents cannot lay the correct foundation to build tomorrow's world, then who can? As mentioned earlier, a new born babe is capable of only a few activities. Further, those are performed involuntarily. That means the baby does not think before acting. In fact it is still reeling from the shock of her life experienced at birth. Imagine the following scenario. You are suddenly blindfolded and whisked away to another world, without your knowledge. When the blindfold is removed you get the shock of your life. Everything you see is in one colour, that you have never seen before. The light is not white, but of that strange colour. You have never seen those things before. Shapes are not the familiar circles, rectangles, triangles, etc. You cannot even imagine that there can be shapes like that. The size - they are huge. Their movements, literally out of this world. The sounds are deafening as well as confusing. You are clearly not in control. You are moved by an unseen force, upside down, sideways and many other unfamiliar movements take place.  Smells are all new. You do not breathe anymore. You do not need Oxygen anymore. Now it is a kind of liquid that provides Oxygen to your body, through a tube connected to your chest. Your mouth is sealed and food given through a tube. To make a long story short, you feel utterly helpless, lost and without comprehension. What is the best thing that can happen at this moment? I am sure it will be to go back to where you were before.  But it is simply impossible. The next best is to experience even a little bit from the earlier world. Imagine, some one talks to you though you do not understand a thing. Someone touches you, and you feel the warmth while you are kept close to this person's body, away from all the unfamiliar things. For the first time you feel secure in this new situation. With that you tend to settle down and begin to wonder what this new situation is.  With this newly-found protection, you begin to think and your brain is at last steady and ready to absorb the new surroundings.

I believe you can now understand the situation of a new born babe. You may have heard people saying "don't carry the baby always and spoil her - you will have problems later". On the contrary, I would advise parents to keep the new born baby in the warmth of your body, as long as possible.  Even when the baby is asleep, keep the baby on your lap or alongside, against your breast, if you are lying down. The mother can give more security than the father could give a baby. The baby knows the exact temperature of the mother's body, the sweet music "lub-dub" of the mother's heart, mother's faint voice the baby heard for so long through the stomach walls, now amplified with much clarity. All these things make the mother the best choice to give that much needed security to the baby in that situation.

Now that you know that someone dear to you is near you, holding you re-assuringly, your heart beat becomes normal and you can relax after overcoming the initial shock and fear. Then naturally, you tend to look around and try to comprehend what is going around you, in this strange new world. If you have the comforting assurance that you are not alone, that you need not fear anything, then you feel secure and can relax the mind. Imagine your first flight out of the country. There is a big noise coming from one engine from time to time and the plane tilts and sways from one side to the other. All the passengers are screaming in fear. Do you think you can watch an educational video and learn something under those conditions? No, you have to be relaxed and comfortable, to learn and understand something around you.

When you compare this to an infant's own situation, it is possible to conclude that upto an average of about three months, infants are not capable of appreciating or learning about the surroundings. During this period, I observed certain things with my grand daughter, which made me believe that mother nature has seen to the infant's well being by "programming" certain instincts into her "system". There were certain involuntary reactions which I am sure, were not learnt by the baby.

I remember one such instance very well. After putting her to sleep in my arms, when I wanted to keep her in the cot, I lowered her a little quicker than usual. At once, her legs were raised, elbows moved downward on either side of her body, while still fast asleep. It appeared to me that it was an involuntary reaction to break a possible fall.

Here is another instance I observed when my daughter was a baby. When she was breast fed while she was awake, after the feed, she had to be carried upright until she burped otherwise she would cry in pain until we made her burp. However, when she was fed while in her sleep, the problem never occurred. When she was asleep, she stopped drinking after a few gulps, waited a while and again drank a few more gulps, and continued likewise, whereas she drank non-stop while awake. The reason for mother nature to make her stop after a few gulps is to release any tiny pockets of air entrapped in the milk. Therefore the need to burp (release all the entrapped air) did not arise when she drank milk in her sleep.

This brings to my mind the things I observed for about one and a half years, when ash doves used to come inside our house and selected one of our lamp shades to lay eggs and raise families.[to be written later]

The School (my dream)

I believe that I can change the whole world in 50 years. One would see the beginning of the change in 25 years. I need 5 years to prove that I can do it and I need one hour to describe the method. However, I would not describe my method to anyone before doing it because no one would believe that I am going to use such a simple method to 'save the world'. Since 2007*, I have been trying to acquire a suitable land in a very rural area to start my dream project. However, since I could not find that land with the little money I have, I started writing this book in 2013. I am writing this book so that in case I fail to achieve the dream, then some one else could realise my dream. What is important is for the world to change. Whether I do it or you do it, it is the same.

My main tool would be a school of my own, where I will teach the little angels how to remain angels when they become big. Having taught for more than ten years in a mixed school, I have gathered and accumulated a great deal of knowledge about the behavior of students and how that behavior is affected and directed by various factors. The character moulded by the child's parents, and teachers remains in the child even in adulthood. Having read the book so far, you will realise and agree with me that little children acquire the major part of their knowledge from their parents and other adults bringing them up. Therefore our School will begin at home. The parents are the child's first teachers.

As soon as the baby is born, the little angel should be taught how to learn. But the baby in the new, unknown surroundings experiences fear for the first time. The mother gives the baby the confidence to get over that fear by carrying the infant and keeping in contact with her body. This act is the single most important act the mother does to let the angel continue to feel safe as it was in the mother's womb. The all familiar temperature of the mothers body, the heartbeat that resounded in the unborn baby's world regularly and continuously throughout his lifetime will comfort the baby. It will make a strong bond between the mother and the baby. The very first thing the baby learns will be; "OK, I am still safe though in a strange world. Only difference is all this while I was 'in' her body, now I am 'on' her body".

The mother who does this continuously for the first three months or so, will reap ample rewards in seeing her baby learn things quickly. The mother who does not do this does not help the infant to get over that initial fear completely, and the remnants of that fear will lie dormant for indefinite times and resurface in later life in unpredictable ways. Anyway, one thing is certain those remnants of fear will surface whenever the child's confidence is tested. Your guess about the outcome is as good as mine.

The wise mother will keep the baby to her body even when he is asleep, during the first three months. One of the first few things an infant learns after birth is the smell of the mother's milk. Now baby knows the smell of milk, in addition to mother's body temperature, heartbeat and the voice. When did he learn the mother's voice? Long before birth. Medical Science has proved that the unborn can hear the mother's voice and the heartbeat. She will be very lucky to have an intelligent baby who will be a fast learner. Having learnt the mother's voice, baby will soon learn to recognise the mother's face. The first real and substantial reward to the mother is to see the first smile on the little angel's face. If the mother and the father smile all the time, the baby is sure to start smiling in about one and a half month's time. Smiling is the easiest thing for the baby, as he has only to relax the necessary muscles.

The parents who stare at each other and do not smile with the baby are unfortunate because their babies will take about three or four months to show the first smile. Our School will request the parents to attend discussions before the child is born. Parents must speak to the unborn baby every now and then. They must speak lovingly to the baby as well as to each other. It is also advisable to play classical and soothing music. Once the baby is born, these things are to be continued. If parents really have to fight, they must go out of the baby's hearing and seeing ranges. The main objective of our School is to ensure little children never see or experience violence. After following these discussions in our School, parents will surely realise that they need not fight at all.

By three months, the baby has now overcome the initial fears and is starting to use a powerful tool gifted by mother Nature the desire to explore the surroundings. My dear parents, now the time has come to gradually let the baby have more time for himself. It is not necessary now to carry the baby always. When you keep him in the cot or on the bed, you will see that the baby, instead of crying, will look around exploring the surroundings and kicking hard and moving the arms vigourously in joy. The natural instinct to learn is more powerful than anyone's teaching. Whether you are carrying the baby or not, if you notice him looking fixed at any object, please do not distract him away from his learning session. Do not talk to him or make any move to interrupt his exploration. This is how his brain gathers momentum. Gradually he is learning to think. The earlier he starts to think the better.

Now is the time to introduce the little angel to books. Now there are plastic mixed cloth books which are very soft, gentle and soft to the baby's body. Angel will soon start touching the colourful pages with nice pictures of the lovable characters bear, mickey mouse, rabbit, a bird, a butterfly, etc. Then the natural learning instinct will make him start turning pages. This is the beginning of a lifetime friendship and bond with books. My daughter gave such a book to her little angel Shavini, and that is how I observed how the angel developed a great love for books. She loved when her mother and grandmother used to read stories from the sizable collection of books the mother built. Shavini is six years now, and she never gets tired of books. I am proud to say that she can read children's story books and has an excellent vocabulary.

By this time, you will find the baby does not need anymore carrying about, to hear mother's heartbeat, the body warmth, etc.. In fact the little angel is now beginning to enjoy being on his own. The independence, breaking away from the mother's gravitational pull, freedom of movement cycling like movement of the legs going on non-stop, movement of the hands up and down in synchronisation with the legs, all bring him boundless happiness. Please do not forfeit that happiness by carrying the baby always. When should you start talking to have a conversation with an infant? The day your baby is born. You might think it is absurd as he cannot understand words as yet. True, the baby will not understand the first time, or the second time, or the third, or .. until he understands. But you and I do not know when the infant really starts to understand. I believe it is pretty early. We started talking to Shavini when she was about two months in age. We used to call her 'little angel'. We talked to her in normal language and never used baby language. And to our surprise, the first words she uttered were meaningful.

Whenever she called me 'seeya' (grandfather in Sinhala) I used to respond "yes, my angel" in a very loving and gentle tone. We did not know how much she loved it, until we realised why she used to call me seeya all the time and sometimes it went like this; "Seeya!". "yes my angel"? "Seeya!". "yes my angel"? "Seeya!". "yes my angel"? and so on for a number of times. Please remember to talk to your baby lovingly and gently, however much you are tired, worn out or angry over a tiff*with your husband or anyone else. This is the first test conducted by our School. It is very easy to forget the answer when the question of anger arises. You will fail the test if you talk harshly, stare or look hard and violent in front of the baby. So please memorise the answer: firstly go out of the baby's room. When you return, act normally and talk to baby as if nothing happened outside the room. They can hear, see and feel the harsh speech, hard looks and uneasiness, respectively. Please do not make the innocent angel feel uncomfortable and insecure by failing this test.